Significance of Vicky Beeching's Coming Out

It's been an interesting week in various ways and the coming out of VickyBeeching, Christian theologian and singer in this article in the Independent, was amongst the notable events for me.

You might wonder why the last one has been significant for me. Well, as with many others when I read that article and watched her Channel Four News appearance I felt the power of what was going on not just for Vicky but for the wider church and the community of LGBTQI Christians within it and beyond it. This was not just a very brave coming out, and make no mistake it was a very brave act - not only regarding the royalties involved but more importantly because the size of potential negative reaction is much bigger for public figures. It was also important for several other reasons too:
 

1) Because of Vicky's profile within the evangelical Christian subculture and the planned nature of this coming out a silence was being broken. The silence being broken was not around the subject itself I don't think. We all know there are LGB people within the church and within the evangelical subculture. What was being broken was the silence around the consequences of repression and the psychological damage of the "pray it away" culture which exists within parts of the church around this and other issues including depression. Now, I don't want to be misheard here, I do believe in a God who answers prayer, but I do not believe in a God who answers prayers to heal people of being gay through taking it away. What I believe in is a God who heals people through helping them come to an acceptance of who they are and what that means in the context of the healthy guidelines he lays down for all human relationships.

2) The second reason I think it was important was because Vicky had sought support from Ruth Hunt. Ruth is the new head of Stonewall. In supporting Vicky through this I have no doubt that Ruth has become far more aware of the nature of issues which LGB Christians from a specific background face. Often people outside in the wider LGBTQI community have been very vocal with regard to faith and the damage it does without understanding what it is like for those of us who choose to remain within the church, yet being honest about our sexuality. I use the "stranger in a strange land" quote to sum up our experience of what it is like.

When she came into her new appointment Ruth said faith was one area where Stonewall needed to work for greater equality. I hope that what Vicky has done and how she has handled it will mean that work will have a greater sensitivity to some specific issues. This has also probably helped develop events such as the LGBT Fellowship event on October 11th where Ruth Hunt will be speaking together with Tracey Byrne CEO of LGCM, a Christian LGBT organisation which has worked with Stonewall over many years including on the equal marriage debate. Because Vicky is a patron of Accepting Evangelicals it is also no doubt building important bridges between Stonewall and members of the evangelical community who have perhaps been more wary of the organisation.

3) What Vicky's coming out through the secular media has done is give an insight into the church for those who aren't part of it. In explaining why she is still part of the church Vicky has been able to explain why the Christian faith she has is important to her and share more about God's love even when the church causes harm. This is an important message of hope, especially for those who are dechurched because of their sexuality. They need to hear that whilst they may have had bad experiences of church God does not abandon them.

The reaction from Vicky's coming out has primarily seemed to be one of love and support as she has explained in some follow up articles. But there is another reaction which has resulted which has not been directed at Vicky and which needs to be acknowledged. That is there are many Christians who have had to think through their reaction to not only Vicky's coming out but to the discussions and debates going on as a result. They have had to think through how what is being said relates not only to Vicky but to other LGBT people they know.

I give one example. I have a friend has a more traditional view on this than myself, which I respect even if I don't agree with it. She was seeing some of the more negative reaction and felt that she had to respond with a status which did not affirm LGB relationships but did say it is between God and the person, we can't judge. As she put it to me "I had somehow got into her head and when she was reading those comments she was thinking of me". I want you to imagine the impact of that type of individual action multiplied across the whole of the social media community which is discussing this. The ripple effect from this is huge and the ripple effects are often unseen and unknown. I knew the story behind my friends status because she felt the need to let me know, how many other status' or conversations which go on off line which are based on such thoughts will we not know about.

There is another side to this wider social media discussion I want to pick up on before I finish and that is to sign a note of warning. During the FB thread which followed somebody who was coming from the other side of the debate raised the point that Vicky could have gone to a Christian organisation which gives the more traditional line for support. In response I made the point that she was a high profile Christian with a media career and that for that reason I think she made exactly the right choices with regard to where she did go to for support and the way she handled it. She is an extremely bright woman and I have no doubt she considered all the options and took wise counsel from those Christians close to her who were aware of what she was wrestling with. What concerns me is in this debate there is a false premise being put forward by those who do not support Vicky's position, such as the Evangelical Alliance, that there is a binary debate going on where one group of people and set of organisations are for or against celibacy and they appear to be seeking to direct people to support groups which advocate only celibacy.

Groups such as Diverse Church who work with young adults, and Gay Christian Network an online support group understand and give support to both those who believe that the sexuality should mean they have to be celibate and those who don't. GCN for example has side B forums, specifically so those who feel that they have to remain celibate can have support. These groups which support people with both understandings and support people coming to their own healthy decisions based upon scripture, tradition, reason, experience and prayer are the ones I believe people should be directed towards. For those who want to understand more about celibacy and the idea of being celibate in a relationship I direct you to Lindsey and Sarah's blog which shares their experience of this.

What I hope this debate will move on to is the wider discussion which is needed which looks at relationships whether heterosexual or LGB. I hope this debate will emphasise that celibacy is a calling some have and seek to explore how we can support those for whom it is a calling but also recognise the bible tells us it is not for everybody. I hope that we begin to discuss more how sex should be in committed, monogamous, healthy, long term, loving relationships and how we support both single people who want to be in relationships but aren't and couples who aren't at that stage yet more.

A final note info note for those who may be interested regarding Greenbelt. Vicky is part of a mixed panel on Saturday at Greenbelt discussing "can we reimagine marriage?".  Karl who regular readers of this blog will be familiar with, is part of a LGBTQI panel on Monday together with Tracey Byrne and others, chaired by Rachel Mann, discussing "we're not an issue we're a gift". Tracey is also part of the group leading a worship event on the Monday entitled Still So Far to Travel. Outerspace is organising a range of events including a Eucharist on Saturday evening. For those wondering if Outerspace or something like it is really needed at what is clearly such a LGBTQI friendly festival I refer you to this article by Fi of the LGBT Fellowship on Safe Spaces - Why They're Important. Outerspace isn't an exclusively LGBTQI space, straight cis-gendered allies are equally welcome - what it does do though is allow LGBTQI people to meet with others and (i) be directed to safe spaces which suit them and (ii) meet others so that in entering they safe spaces they might know somebody or just be able to chat through their concerns about starting to come out in a faith based setting. It also allows LGBTQI people to come together and celebrate the Eucharist together with a liturgy which is specifically appropriate to that group, something which can have deep healing within it.